I was talking to a cancer sufferer the other day. She was following medical treatment, was active, tried to remain optimistic, and had a daily routine to thank the universe for all that she had been given. She was at peace with her diagnosis and couldn't think of anything else she could do to help herself.

After a while, it became evident that there was a recurrent situation of abuse in her life. She looked after her elderly father, although he had always been a tyrant towards her. She had fought back all her life , but in the last few years, he had gotten worse with dementia, and she had given up trying to change their relationship. Every time his aggression recurred, she would go into deep sadness for hours.

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There it was! That nasty emotion we must avoid at all costs: helplessness...

Feeling helpless, trapped in a situation in which you have no control over your destiny, is one of the most noxious emotions we can experience, leading to depression of the immune system and therefore illness.

Yet, you sure need your immune system if you have cancer! Did you know that we all produce cancer cells, every day, but our immune system keeps them at bay? Yes, we are provided with a wonderful team of surveillance cells that circulate throughout the body, looking for cancer cells with abnormal markers on their surface to destroy them.

"Sure. I get that", she said. "But what can I do about it?"

We analysed her personal way of feeling helpless: She would go into her room, gather herself into a ball and cry, thinking of all the horrible things her father had just said to her. She would feel her chest heavy and painful with sadness and desperation.

Then, we chose an emotion as an alternative for her to experience during those encounters. Quite the opposite emotion, in fact! JOY.

I asked her to choose 2 activities that made her feel happy, every time. She loved going out for walks in nature and was crazy about music. She showed me what her body looked like when she walked while listening to music. What a difference! Under hypnosis, we ingrained that positive pattern as her new reaction to being disrespected. She visualised using it in the future when her father abused her verbally.

Now, when her disrespect alarms go off, she immediately leaves the house to interrupt the negative cycle, and goes to a nearby park to walk whilst listening to music. She loves her new power! "What do you do if it happens at night?" I asked. "Oh, I just dance under the stars", she smiled.