For the last two decades, us four siblings and our mother have lived in four different continents. The mechanism we have created to maintain our connection is regular family adventures. We choose a different destination every year and we travel all together, including our spouses and children, for 2 to 3 weeks. These trips, which typically include 20 to 25 people at a time, are full of fun and laughter, big meals and large amounts of dishes, impossible bike rentals and restaurant invasions by our mob.

I am 9 years older than my youngest sister, so by the time I left home, she was only a teenager. She had been a sickly child and has suffered from various health problems all her life. She is the only single sibling, and although always present in our trips, my perception was she never seemed to fully enjoy being there. She would sit with my mother quietly, would not participate fully or would sometimes be exasperated by the screams of the children.

Recently, I was looking through Facebook, when I realised how often her friends would post how funny she was, how grateful they were for her cheerful disposition or what a good night out they had had together. I had a thorough look through the happy pictures she had been posting over the years. I thought "Who is this woman? How come I have never seen that aspect of her?".

I phoned her up to share my discovery of the side of her I had never seen. She gently explained how difficult our family trips sometimes were, with children running wild all the time, with all the tensions such a large group involve, with the isolation of being the only one without a partner to automatically share with. Basically, she felt very lonely and disconnected when with the family, even though she loved us dearly.

It dawned on me that I had never spent 24 hours alone with my sister. I had labeled her early on, and she had remained in that role through our lives. She suggested we do a trip together soon, without husbands, without children, just to share being together. I thought that was a great idea, except for...she lives in Spain, I live in New Zealand. How could I escape to visit her in the near future?

It turns out she was traveling through Japan for three weeks during the cherry blossom season. Due to family and work commitments, the only way I could escape to see her this year was to hop on a plane and on the bullet train to see her in Kyoto for 3 nights only. It took me about 20 hours each way to get there, but gee...what a trip!!!!!

I cannot explain how awesome it was. We walked through the pink and white flower city, from temple to temple. We slept in backpackers lodges where you leave your shoes at the entrance and replace them with slippers. We ate beautiful food in beautiful arrangements. We were treated with impeccable kindness and respect by the Japanese. We drank sake, every day. But most of all, we laughed and laughed and laughed.

I came back with new joy in my heart. I discovered my sister. What a blessing.